Christ's Unrelenting Love
Eugene, 2nd Congregation
Eugene
I grew up in a non-Christian family. My father wasn't a Christian although my mother was. When I was about 5 or 6, my mother brought me to Sunday school. It was the first time I heard the Gospel - but I didn't really understand it. I did understand that there was a God and He loved me and He had sent his Son Jesus to die for me - but I didn't really understand what sin was. Unfortunately, I only got to go a few times as my father objected to me going to church.
Still, God had planted the seed of the Gospel in my heart. Yet, as I grew up, I struggled with the idea of God. I knew deep down He existed, He was real, but I didn't want Him to be real - if He was real, then right and wrong, truth and falsehood meant something in the world - and I could not do as I liked.
So I argued and convinced myself that God was not real - He didn't exist. Science could explain creation - or so I believed. But growing up, whenever I ran into trouble or had to sit for exams, I prayed. I prayed that God would hear my prayers and deliver me. God was gracious. He responded to my prayers - not always granting them - but I knew He heard. This continued into my teenage years which were a dark time. I struggled with lust and addiction to the flesh. I tried to break out of what I knew deep down was wrong but failed each time. I tried to convince myself that God was not real so that I didn't have to stop - but didn't really convince myself. I tried going to church. The worship service always left me feeling better, but I would soon fall into sin again. I simply wasn't prepared to acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life.
This continued until I was 18. I collected my results at the end Junior College and I had done well. I knew that, once again, God had come through for me. I still remember the day vividly. As I crossed the bridge out of the campus on my way to the bus-stop, I asked of God, "Why did He help me time and time again? Since He knew everything, He must know that when He helped me, I would simply reject Him and go on my way again - so why help an impenitent sinner?" I heard a voice in my heart say that day, "Because I love you." God loved me and He was not going to abandon me. He was pursuing me, calling me. Faced with this love - the love that kept Jesus on the cross of Calvary - I gave up my life to God.
God did a miracle in my life that day. As I relied on His grace and His strength, the temptation from lust and addiction to the flesh faded. A deeper, fuller joy had taken root and it had replaced the cheap thrill of sin. What drew me was Christ's unrelenting love. Like the shepherd in the parable of the lost sheep, Christ did not give up until he found me and brought me back to Him.
Of course, I'm not perfect now - none of us will be this side of heaven - I continue to wrestle against sin. But I take heart that the battle is won. “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set us free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2).
The words of the song, “All I Have is Christ” sum up my story well:
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace